It is true, even if it is so difficult to believe initially, that looks, and passions are going to change in the course of a relationship, and so, when all else is changing, or gone, a strong bond of Friendship is going to be what survives, and refreshes LOVE, even desire, over, and over again...
This bond of intimacy is full of many wonders, which provide, always, in all times! In this bond there is found respect, and regard for the other person, trust, security, fidelity, and along with these, a vault of other POSITIVE attributes that strengthen, and fortify true, and lasting LOVE, be that with *GOD*, our Spouse, our Family, and all the way through the relationships of our lives, and thereby, HONOUR LOVE...
THE LORD shows us that HE does not judge based upon outward appearances, instead, by the heart of a person, and this should speak to us, because SO many broken relationships have been founded on nothing more than physical attraction, and lust! Physical attraction, and desire, DO have a role in Marital relationships, however, such is subject to MANY changes throughout the years, such as diminished desire, and so forth, and so, if there is no deeper bond of intimacy, such as Friendship, the relationship might suffer greatly, even to the point of tossing it aside! The INNER person is where TRUE BEAUTY resides, and lasts; the physical being IS going to be altered with time, and so, to base a relationship solely, upon the physical, is to set oneself up for disappointment, delusion, discontent, and disappointment!!!
Understanding *GODLY* LOVE holds MUCH information towards forming relationships in this life, thus, I URGE people, especially the Youth to KNOW this LOVE prior to jumping into relationships...
Lust, and it's many faces! Many couples today feel compelled to compete with the sex industry, and so, are doing things to secure a rung in this teetering ladder, which in a while, will not only prove wrong, but leaves one, or both in the relationship with a wide array of issues to deal with, including shame, resentment, and on it goes! Lust HAS a place in the overall relationship, but is NOT a good foundation FOR a relationship, and CERTAINLY, NOT to be exploited, and is RIGHTLY called ROMANCE...
The need to be controlling, or controlled; there is FREEDOM in LOVE to BE who you are, and to be respected, and regarded for who you are...
The need to always be right: this is impossible in the first place, and most of the time, creates too much discord...
A battleground! Arguing, and other such IS going to happen, but if it is constant, and there is never any resolve, or growth, that should be a warning that something just isn't right! Friendly bantering, and other such indicates a healthy rapport, but constant warring is not only unhealthy, it is a sign of deeply troubled waters...
Constantly challenging, and belittling! This is just childish, and a waste of time!
Shutting each other out! Stubbornness is a weapon, and should be taken out of the perimeters of any relationship!
Suspicion will kill a relationship, thus, check it often, and if there is reason to be suspicious, get to the root of it, as soon as possible!
Me, me, me! LOVE is selfless, and always puts the interests of others first; this does NOT mean to be a doormat, or withhold your rights, it merely means to CONSIDER the other first, and to let go of the me syndrome! SO many relationships are ruled by a Me person, who HAS to have it their way, all of the time! This is a tough cycle to break, but which requires working through by BOTH parties, because the person on the other side of the Me person, eventually, is going to either become subservient, complacent, or worse, lost, therein. It is not about YOU, and not about ME, it is about US...
Taking the other for granted; this is a dangerous mentality, and once begun, hard to stop...
There is more, of course, but you get the idea, and for the sake of the rest of this post, I leave it at this..
MANY people treat their Pets, Friends, and Associates better than they treat *GOD*, their Spouse, or their Children! What is up with this? Our closest relationships ARE the most CRUCIAL to our lives, and growth! We must REALLY take the time to consider HOW we treat those we LOVE, and to reflect on the significance we give them, at any given time!!!
ANY relationship involves EFFORT, and WORK, and is ESPECIALLY necessary in the relationships of *GOD*, Marriage, and Family! ANY relationship requires COMMUNICATION, and a sharing of the mind, as well as PRAYING, together, or individually, for a common cause; the longevity, and happiness of the relationship! Also, SACRIFICE is mandatory!!!
LOVE is a many splendor thing, IF it is premised upon what is right, just, and good, and upon REALITY! We all have fantasies, and so forth, but, there ain't nothin' like the REAL thing; fantasies fulfilled OFTEN leave us empty, confused, yet, they WILL teach us, the hard way, that the REAL thing is the ticket to lasting happiness, security, and comfort!!!
SO much trouble could be spared in relationships IF we would take our TIME, and develop them BEFORE we commit to them! It is so sad that our urges lead us to RUSH into relationships WITHOUT knowledge of whom we are in a relationship with, and other essential criteria, and so, we have the world we see, AND it is the Children, the future, which is gathering the wrong impression of LOVE...
Boredom, also, is part and parcel to all relationships, because we are just like that, HOWEVER, I am here to tell you to weather that wicked storm, because it passes, and it is FAR better to endure some turbulence than to throw everything to the winds of that storm, and LOSE LOVE, and what is good for your over-all well-being! BEING STRONG is a mandate in ALL relationships!!!
There are endless factors that will either build UP a relationship, or tear them apart; it is WISE to understand both ends of the spectrum, then take that knowledge, and find a middle ground to build on, to grow on, and to derive fulfillment from!!!
REV. LWINSOR © 2013
MANY people fear aging, and as a result, flee their relationships to begin anew with Younger partners! I know quite a few such people, and they have always told me the same sorry story, "This person makes me FEEL Young again", yet, too often, they are left behind, because the Younger person feels too old in their company...
LOVE IS INTENDED to OUTLAST your Youth, your looks, your teeth, your growth into maturity; Friendship IS what remains to keep the eyes of the beholder, and that heart, happy, and satisfied! HOW BEAUTIFUL the older couples who KNOW, without question, they can lean on each other, and WILL be together to the very end of time!!!
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