In the aftermath of Denver blizzards, for several weeks most parking lots were reduced in size due to storm snow pile-up from plowing and shoveling. One man was driving around, looking for a parking place with no luck, needing to get to his appointment. He started to pray to God, and promised to give 10% more in tithes to the church, if he could get a good parking place. Just then a car up ahead began to pull out of a good parking spot, and immediately the man told God: "Nevermind, I see a spot".THE OLD PASTOR
An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the lawyer asked, "Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?"
The old pastor mustered all his strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."
Here are some signs on the marquees of churches - clever messages!
=> Looking for a sign God loves you? OK - God loves you!
=> Is your life on a Rocky Road? Come try Sundae School!
=> Free Trip to Heaven! Details Inside!
=> Easter isn't Lent - it's Given
=> Let's meet at my house before the game - God
=> Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church
=> Heaven is a cool place
=> ATM Inside - next line reads "Atonement - Truth - Mercy"
=> Sign Broken - Message inside, this Sunday
=> Looking for a lifeguard? Ours walks on water
=> WalMart isn't the only saving place in town
=> Swallow your pride - it contains no calories
=> Keep using My name in vain - I'll make rush hour longer - God
=> God does not believe in atheists, therefore, atheists do not exist.
Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff, including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then, He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see!

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